The Daily Squib

When a seemingly ordinary office block caught ablaze, the fire evacuation plan was immediately put into action. The alarm was raised, people filed out and registers were taken to ensure everyone was out of the building safely. It was at this point staff noticed that some of the staff, all of them smokers, were still inside the office. To their dismay, they discovered that the missing staff were all enjoying the smoke given off by the fire.
'Since the smoking ban we've all been dying to light up indoors' coughed one of the smokers, 'this was practically a blessing in disguise'. The other members were equally un-repentant, 'God was that good; every breath was just pure smoke. Better than the rollies [cigarettes hand made by the smoker -ed] I'm used to' wheezed another. While such inhalations ordinarily kill within a short space of time, in smokers the body is unable to tell what chemicals are going in and out of the lungs, due to the fact that smokers lungs become what is scientifically known as 'totally fucked'.
Once ambulance crews arrived on the scene, they found the missing staff to be totally relaxed and co-operative. While upon examination several of the staff in question seemed to have developed cancer of the lungs, the stricken smokers protested that it was 'absolutely worth it'.

Note: this article may get re-written sometime soon