Friday, October 13, 2006
Friday 13th Is Upon Us!
To celebrate this day of misfortune, we caught up with legendary psychopath Jason for an exclusive interview.
Good morning, it's good of you to join us.
Not at all, it's good to be here
So let's dive straight in. What's the deal with Freddy?
Actually it's better than you think, I mean, there's no bad blood between us. We go on very well. He was fine with the whole decapitation thing at the end of the film [laughs]. Actually that was never in the script, it was a long day and he made a joke about my mom being a nutter so I just....well beheaded him. Luckily the camera crew caught it, so that was....that was all good.
Good to hear. What did you think of the film itself, did you see a preview of it before it was released?
Funnily enough I didn't. I was away on business when I got a call from my manager saying the film was out now, and that I should go check it out. I got to the cinema in a mess man, sometimes I just can't help it. I mean come on! This girl was just standing there on the pavement, being young and expendable. What's a guy to do? I simply rammed her face into a wall, then grated her corpse on the rough texture of the bricks. It was quite funny at the time. I think it was caught on my friends phone.
So are you into the Happy Slapping craze then?
Er, not really. I'm still doing my thing. If there's a helpless soul I'll butcher them and all, but I don't get the whole slapping people in the face and running off thing. It's just degrading. How far has society sunk if you can't walk down the street without fear of being hit in the face?
True, true. So what's life like at the lake. I've got to say it looks nice from what I've seen in the films.
You should see it. It looks better in real life I swear. Nice views, lot of teenagers strangely enough [laughs], you' think they'd have learned by now. But you know how things are. I don't speak to my mom much, I spend most time with my pet Tiddles the goldfish. Some youth tried to catch him once, he was fishing and I just thought, 'Dude, that is so not cool'. He didn't even have a fishing license! The cheek of some people. So I pulled his rod...[giggles] I'm not gay or anything, I meant his fishing rod. Not that I have anything against homosexuals it's just....not my thing as it were. I'm more of a breast man. Geez, I'm going off one one. Back to the story. So yeah, I pulled him into the lake and started pushing his head under water, actually that last part was un-intentional. I never meant to do that, I just wanted to explain that he was scaring my little fishy. He started to drown, I was so embarrassed. There was lots of splashing, and....noise. Quite a commotion. I just thought 'These people are being disturbed by all this noise, they've came here to relax. This clearly isn't polite'. I just broke the guys neck and used his spine as a belt. I killed two birds with one stone man, that was pretty productive.
So what do you do in your spare time? What's the real Jason like?
Believe it or not I'm very shy. I'm quite the pacifist, I was at the No More War demonstrations during 'nam. I read quite a lot, currently reading 'The Bell Jar' by Sylvia Plath. It's touched me, it really has. Very sad, very sad... Half the time I don't even mean to kill people! Sometimes it's because I've got a new film coming up and I need some practice, it's nothing personal. I also have emotional issues, which I don't really want to go into. Basically there was this girl and it got....well I had my heart broken [breaths deeply]. I'm still trying to deal with that. I'm seeing this wonderful therapist, her name's Sarah, brunette. Bubbly. She's helping me cope. Who knows, maybe I'll leave all this manic, unstoppable urge to kill behind me, settle down, wife and kids. I wouldn't mind that actually.
Well, it's been wonderful talking to you. We at The Daily Squib wish you all the best. Thanks for the chat.
No, it's no problem at all, really.
Well strangely enough.. I enjoyed this. Well done Throne :)
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